Notes of a Wanderer: Identity, Language, and the Path of a Music Therapist

Over the past two years of clinical training in Australia, my professional identity has undergone a significant reconstruction. This journey has not been a simple accumulation of skills. It has been a series of fragments, reflections on the intersections of culture, the politics of instruments, and the essence of music as a clinical domain.

The Clinical Wanderer: Freedom in Non-Belonging

Traditional narratives suggest that immigrants exist between two cultures. However, my clinical experience has led me to a different conclusion: I am a wanderer who belongs to no specific culture. This realisation is not a source of sorrow but of freedom.

Choosing to live across borders carries both weight and freedom. My Chinese heritage is not baggage to be discarded, but the lens through which I first saw the world. However, inhabiting the role of a "cultural wanderer" allows me to recognise that I do not belong to any single, rigid narrative. This is not about being a "neutral observer", for I bring my entire history into the room, but about utilising my own experience of displacement to meet clients in their own unique, and often misunderstood, worlds.

Disorientation: The Paradox of Language

Language remains a complex barrier. I have encountered moments of profound disorientation, feeling the limits of my English while simultaneously realising I am forgetting how to write in my native Chinese.

In a society structured for native speakers, this lack of fluency can feel like a socially constructed disability. Yet, this "disabled" status has sharpened my clinical focus. When verbal communication fails, I rely more heavily on musical response and relational experience. I have learnt that while language is a tool for building relationships, it is not the only one.

Instrument Hegemony: The Accordion Rebellion

I have consistently challenged the historical hegemony of the piano and guitar in clinical practice. While these instruments have their merits, they are not the only viable options.

I advocate for the accordion as a superior clinical tool. It is a portable, 12-TET polyphonic instrument that provides the harmonic support of a piano with the mobility of a guitar. Most importantly, the way I hold the accordion allows me to face the client directly. This physical configuration also allows me to free my right hand to hold a percussion instrument, such as a tambourine, for the client to strike. This enables me to facilitate active musical engagement while my left hand maintains a steady harmonic and rhythmic foundation.

The choice of a clinical tool should be based on its functional and relational capacity, not merely on historical precedence. Furthermore, it should honour the therapist’s primary musical strengths and technical proficiency. Clinical presence is best achieved when the instrument serves as a transparent extension of the therapist’s authentic self, rather than a technical hurdle that distracts from the therapeutic connection.

The Path of a Music-Centred Wanderer

My path as a music therapist involves finding a centre within displacement. If I do not belong to one culture or language, I belong to music. Music is not a tool for external goals. It is the domain where I and my clients exist together.

The disorientation I experienced with language has become a clinical strength. This frustration grew from living in a world built for native English speakers. It removed any desire to force my clients to follow social standards. I am an outsider to these norms. I do not try to impose them on others. Instead, I meet my clients in a non-verbal musical space. In this space, we are both free subjects.

This perspective defines my work with neurodevelopmental variants. I use a music-centred approach. I focus on musical attention, musical affect, musical adaption, musical engagement and musical interrelatedness. I observe growth through the musical process.

I remain a wanderer. I no longer seek a fixed cultural home; instead, I find my place within the shared musical process. With my accordion and a music-centred lens, I will continue to meet my clients as free subjects, within the music itself.